You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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