He is such a slut. More and more my type.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
