just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
