Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
