I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
