Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
