He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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