Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
