Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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