Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
