Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
