Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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