I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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