Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
