btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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