Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
