Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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