"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
