hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
another moral hangover. fuck.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize