he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
