I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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