and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
