I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
