ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize