Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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