How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
