He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He better not be in your backpack
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
