Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
