I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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