I wish my penis had an off switch
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
