remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
