brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You pole danced in your parka.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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