i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
