Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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