Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
