You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
