The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
