i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize