i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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