how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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