Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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