Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
