You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
