I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
