therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I need a burrito and a hug.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
