i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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