I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
