How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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