I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
