Everything about him screamed your future.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize