Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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