My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize