Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
