And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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