I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
