So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
