Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
me + whiskey = a bad person
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I need water and some morals
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
