Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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