Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have aggressive nipples.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize