I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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