Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
