We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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