I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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