YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
